Let it go...

Letting you go now. I'm going to move on with my life. This is my final word,serious. Friends, I'm not going to take back my words. Once, I did say that i want to forget him but i can't and now, I'm going too. Don't worry Friends, i'm strong now unlike the past. YEAH. I'm a happy person and will always be one. It's just that sometimes, I may need time alone... YEAH WOMAN!


HAHA! Today, went out with MAK AKU. HAHA! Went to buy aunt stuffs. LOTS OF IT WOMAN!!! Then, plan to go somewhere else but CANCELLED! Went back home, put all the things out and take a nap. ARGH! NICEEEE! LOL!

Now, i'm listening to Korean songs. No one to chat with today, bored right? Haish..




Friend, Just go back home and explain to them why you did that.. I was shocked when you told me about what happened just now. Oh friend, just go back home.. Ask them for your fogiveness. I bet, they'll forgive you. And please, don't you ever do it again, Please. This is not good. You're letting you're parents down and upset.. Oh boy, i hate this feeling.. Please think what's right and what's wrong before you do anything. THINK FIRST!


Ok, enough about advising people.. LOL!!
I, myself had enough receiving advises from my friends about that matter. Now, just let go of it. I don't care what he wants to do now, whatever, seriously.. Peace, ok? No worries, just treat me like i'm not exist, that would be fine. Take good care of yourself..

Don't have to worry about me, i'm not dying soon anyway. HAHA. So, if you ever see me out there, just look away or pretend that i'm not there. I'm the happiest person if you did that, serious. Oh yah, help me by saying HELLO to your girl. Ok F, that's the end of our story book.

~ CASE CLOSE ~





KRIS ALLEN, you've made me fall in love with your songs. THE TRUTH. ~ trying to be perfect, trying not to let you down............................ yeah yeahhh... Honesty is Honesty..



I LOVE YOU KRIS ALLEN! SERIOUSLY!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWH!

That song

I love that song by Stan Walker called unbroken. It's a nice song though. And it got stuck in my brain now. DUH. HEHE. Oh well, went to school today feel so fresh, HAHA. Continue with my 3DM assigment and yeah, it's halfway done. Alhamdullilah. I felt great after doing it eventhough it's halfway done at least i did something, right? HEEHE. After that, i went to meet mum and then went back home.. Sleep like a pig, seriously. I was so damn tired. ALthough i did nothing, just doing my work yet i feel so tired. HAHA!!


Chatting with Is Bueno! We laugh non stop. He's a Bueno and me a Nutella. HAHA!!!
Eventhough i just got to know you and syawal, you both are just like a bestfriend to me. Love you guys, though. :D :D


Serious? Is it true? Is it to me or someone else? I'm still wondering about it... If it's for me, i'm glad, happy. But, if it's for someonelese, well, i've got no words to say.. I was shocked to see that.. I'm still wondering, F.

To Izat and Fadz, thanks for your advises.. Appreciate it lots! Thanks friends. I love you guys.. I'll have to be honest to him. Insyallah. Hopefully, i can get all these matter cleared and stick to one, which is F. Insyallah.. I shall make up my mind and face reality... Thanks guys, seriously. :DD


like i say, I'm a happy person now. :D forever happy. :D

I'm fine, FINALLY!

This week sucks, seriously. I'm sick and i act as though i'm perfectly fine. Being happy, being hyper. End up, my sickness got more worse. Yeah, that's why i didn't attend school today. Wake up in the morning and i've made breakfast for myself. Medicine here and there. Friends text me and making sure that i take my medicine. I appreciate it lots. Thanks friends. I love you all very much. So stayed at home and i've decided to makeover my blog. HAHA! So how was it? Nice right? RIGHT?? HAHA!!!
Enjoyed every moment at home, with mum.. She do her own stuff and me stucked in my room with this laptop that i borrowed from my uncle. I promised, must return it next week. SUMPAH! HAHA!!!!

To Amir, be happy friend!! Smile always, just like how i did. I'm sure you can forget about what happen and just pray that she will be happy with her boyfriend back there.

To friend, i may just got to know you. But there's something which i want to know about. I'm curious now.. SERIOUS.

To Friend <3, you're just so caring and i love it. But i don't know how to put it. It's like, i'm happy when i saw your name on my notifications at FB..... HAISH I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!!


Okay, I better sleep early today. If not, i'm going to be late AGAIN!
Good night, I love you people. :D

nyawaku pupus

Its been so longg. I'm lazy to update it. Serious. Well, shall start updating it again.


Currently, I'm obsessed with all Kalysa's songs. Well, since i've watched a malay drama called, ' Puteri Omera ', i just love the songs played during the drama. It's alternative rock. I'm loving it. How i wished, i would be like her. Wouldn't it be great? I'm listening to her songs now..
: Dan Semestinya
: Pupus
: Mengejar Mimpi
: Senyum
: Sampai Bila
: Airmata
: Cahaya
: Angin( Bawa ku pergi )


* These were the songs that i would listen to, everyday. Each songs has a beautiful meaning in it and it all goes to this one person. I'm sure you know who. It's F.
I miss him terribly.. How i wish, i could turn back the time and make only those days i've spent with him to just stay the way it is. I really treasured those days. Real deep.. I've told him that i would wait for him. No matter how hard it is. Eventhough now, there's one or two guys that like me out there, my heart says no to you guys. I'm not raising any one hopes. It's just that, i'm into somebody else, which is F. So, there's no point waiting for me.... Friends did asked me, Until when must i wait for F? And i say, I will wait. Shall wait. He knows it.. This is the first feeling ever. Serious. I may want to bitch around, but no. I'm not that type. That bitching game is not for me.. I can do it, but not to F. Only to those jerks.
F, he's not a jerk. He's the nice and polite guy ever. I won't forget the good deeds you've did to me..


(Hey there friend, do cheer up. What for having a heartbreak everytime you fail to be in love? Haish. We're young. We're strong. There're more things to do rather than you falling in love with a wrong person at a wrong time. Cheer up girl. You're strong, i know. :D)


School's fine. All assigments done, except the new one which is 3DM.. Well, mine is to design a hole puncher. At first, i thought that it would be damn hard, but as i go through it with my friends who has the same theme as mine, it seems easy though. haha. like what people say ; belum try belum tahu. LOL!!










~ Selagi ku masih hidup, ku inginkan mu sayang. Selagi jantung masih berdetap ku menunggumu sayang. nyawaku pupus.

impossible..

It's been a long time, i've blogged. Haish. Too busy with school and sometimes, im just so lazy to update. Heehe. School's, fun. Nothing special about it... Everything's seems fine, so far so good.

F, still the same.. We texts, but we seldom meets. Haish... I miss him, though. I really miss him. If he went to NS, i'm sure that i'm gonna miss him so much. As much as how i miss my late grandfather. I don't wish to see people gone missing. If they're gone, i'm sad..
He's online. But, we seldom chat. what is this man? Everytime, he' busy. I'm not sure what is he doing. haiyo.

Assignments here and there. Stress has come and strike us. OHMY. So stressing. Well at least doing the AE/ After Effects, its much more easier and understandable to me, but, not the Nuke. It's much more harder. OHMY. So confusing. Urgh. I guess i need to focus more on my work, then i'll get to finished it up on time. This is killing me, seriously. No joking.

It's raining in the morning and it's damn cold too. OOOOH. Wear that thick hoodie of mine, yeah. And i feel comfortable in it. So cold, lah..
Went back home and saw Kalil. I thought, he would saw me, but i'll just walked away to my destination which is, MACDONALDS. HAH.

I guess, i'll sleep early tonight. Damn tired.

well, i guess this is it. I'm tired. Nights.

I love you, F. :D

California

~ California Girls...


I have to stay calm. stay calm.
I got nothing to say.




I love you, F.

bad mood, pissed off, irritating..

~ just dance, gonna be ok....

I've got no mood to school today and at the same time, i'm sick again. Haish. Well, the bad mood came up so suddenly yesterday. I get so irritated by somebody. Well, i guess this will last for awhile only. Hopefully it does. If this continues, i think i may get killed. haha.

Well, i've received a random text from Fai. So random! HAHA. well, it's ok then.. Appreciate it lots, though. :D

He replied me, just now.I've got his answer to my question. i guess so....... His messages, makes me happy now. Well, now, all we both got to do, is to wait.Wait till we both are ready.... Till now, we're friends.... :D i love you.



~ 2 years.............................

Your Call

Can we pretend that the airplane in the night sky are like shooting stars?
Too bad, we can't. That's just a fantasy..

Listening to some instrumental music, makes me feel calmer.Serious, you guys should try it out..It's awesome!! Liste

Lately,, school's fine. Just that it ends abit late. Unlike the last semester. Well, it's ok then. It's for our own good also. Knowledge. Education. I don't want to neglect my studies. I have to buck up then.

Trying to be perfect, trying not to let you down. I love you Mum. I want to make my mum the world happiest mum ever. I don't want to see her shed tears just because of me.. I want to change for the good. She's the only one that i loved deeply. Not to forget my Brother. I loved them. What if one day, i've closed my eyes and can't have the chance to meet them anymore?

All i see is, LIES. I can't take lies. I don't know why. It's easy for you to tell a lie but it's hard for you to tell the truth. LIARR...


okay, it ends here. i've really got nothing to say here. serious. not joking. :D
Nites, F. (My Kaypo King)

Vanilla

The first week of school ends. And i'm happy as now, it's weekend. It's saturday today, and i'm stucked at home now, me and only my aunt at home. I'm blogging and my aunt,sleeping (i guess). HEEs. Oh well, this week, i fought with my brother. He went to delete ALL our memories, the videos when we were still young. OMG! i'm seriously mad at him.. Thanks Azmi,Is Bueno,Maldevee aka Ishaq, and all that has given me some advises upon this matter. I love you all guys and girls. And not to forget, Taufik too. Well, i may forgive him but i'll never forget what he'd done. I cried when i got to found out that the videos were all gone. Oh My. Those were precious. I don't mind if i'm not rich or what but, those videos were so precious to me. Whenever i'm all down, watching those videos will help, to cheer me up. Now, there's nothing that will cheer me up. I'm all upset. I've not been talking to him, since the day that he confessed to me that he deleted my videos till now. Oh Gosh, this is killing me... URGH!

Making friends. That's what i did the last few days. I had a great time with them. ALthough we've just know each other, it felt as though we've known each other for long... Hopefully, our friendship last long dudes. :D

I'm in the centre of these two party. I don't know which to choose or to be with.. Maybe, i'll choose none. They are my bestfriends for now.. They're the nicest people i've ever met, but the problem is now, both got attitude. I'm their walls. Friends, please, i'm begging you.. Maybe i may have the attitude, but please, i don't want to fight just over a small matter. I may be close to A but i'll never forget B too. Both are my bestfriends... I belong to whoever, i don't just belong to a friend. And to A, i don't just belong to you. I need to be fair to the both of you. I need space too. Space on my own, instead of being with you always. I hate to be treated like that. I wannna be free. Free to do what ever i want to do and be with. I can't possibly be with you forever. And to B, it's the same too. Be fair to others. Well, it's up to you both, if you read this... I'm letting it out, cause i'm sick and tired of being your walls. Now, all i need is a break.


Can't you see for yourself? i've given you the answer and what's more you want from me? can't you just leave me alone? Think about the consequences. Please, i'm begging you. Please. I'm tired of all this. Haven't they tell you about the consequences before? I want you to live your life happy and not misery, emoing here and there just because of me? Please. this would be the first and the last time, i'm telling you to just leave me alone. That would be good..for the both of us...


F, nurul will still wait for you. No matter what happens. I'll will! Eventhough it takes time, which is 2 years... I'll wait for you, dear. I will. I miss you so much... Please reply that message.. I'm waiting...for your return.. I can't replace you.. No matter how hard, i've tried, i can't......... F, nurul will wait for you..

ILY. <3

he's back.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do



'what hurts the most, was being so close.'

this song goes to , F. :D


~ i'm tired. give me some time to boost my energy. take care,blog. :D

soccer, FINALLY..

Playing soccer, LIKE FINALLY! YEAH! Well, me and my family(excluding my father including my aunt) went to my Pak Busu's house yesterday at Jurong... My small cousins wanted to play at the badminton court so we all planned to play Soccer. And finally, i get to play soccer.. HAH! Well, all this while, i've got no time to. HAH. Now, i had a BodyAche. OUCH! HAH!

Today, school starts. and me, sleepy head went to school, walk like a zombie. HAISH. received the new timetable and OMG, freaks me out. Everything changed! fck! and gonna go back home pretty late. OMG! so, met the girls and guys. they went to eat and i went home, my body, its killing me. I think it's because of not playing soccer for a long time, and muscles stretched. OUCH MAN!!!!!!

Selamat Malam Cinta

Its raining very heavily! very!! Its a nice weather for us to SLEEP! ZZZ... I was lazying on my bed. Half dead; sleep. Well, was enjoying myself in my queen sized bed and my mum came into my room and joined me. Kaypo. HAH! Then, my aunt asked; ' saper nak makan KFC or PIZZA?' WOAH! SOO, i got up from bed, quickly like so excited!! but, when we called the delivery, they say it's raining heavily and its hard. And, yeah i pity those delivery guys.. Well, its hard for them to like travel to us,sending us our food and people some that don't understand, they eventually make a complain that the guys were slow and more. I just hate people like that. Stupid. No brains. Assholes. ok, back to our story. So,we cancel our plan! CANCEL! I text F, but he never reply me and now, he just REPLY! WTH! Thought of asking some help from him, well mum and aunt now knows what he works and where, but when aunt asked me if F can like helped, as in ... somethingsomething..., i felt like i'm like giving him trouble. So, it's good that F reply late. HAH!!!

this is crazy

i'm back again. ok, i know i know. haha.
bored, thats the thing. plan to sleep real early because all this while, today i kept this feeling, i'm trying to keep myself awake, cause i'm a walking zombie.
Hi, i'm Nat, your one and only walking zombie!! HEHE! ok, thats kindda lame. LOL!

Oh well, i'm bored now. Lets just talked about, anything that happens to be on my mind now. Hmm, ok i'm now commenting on my own and the others status at FB, replying here and there. My hand, can't easily come off!! HAH!


Oh, i kept on playing this song called, 'SOLO'. Its nice, yeah i know.
and also all the korean songs that my aunt send to me, i feel like dancing, each time i listen to their songs, i dance abit ONLY!! hahaha LOL! oh yeah!!


~ whenever i read the notes about him, i begin to feel that he's somewhere near me but, too bad. Wait, i think, we're gonna be back together one day. Insyallah.
I still had feelings for him and he too. (guess)
no matter what happens, i'm stil going to wait for you. serious...
if we're back together, that would be the happiest thing on earth for me. My mum sometimes asked for him, and all i told her is that, ' he's busy, or idk.' thats all. mum even encourage me to make friends with him, but, haish...
one day.
all i need is to wait. be patience. ily, fy! :DD

seventeen yet..

She's seventeen and yet she's now pregnant..

OHMYGOD.


Today, me and my mum, we went to Little India to buy some groceries. Well, went we got there, it was raining very heavily and it sucks. But, what to do? We've must accept what God gave us..Whether it is a raining day or even a sunny day, we've all have to accept it no matter what. Yeah. :D
We're done buying the stuffs that is needed and were on they way to the Mrt(NEL) station, where we both got stopped by her and her mum. She's a so called cousin to me (i guess so). My mum went to talked to them while i sat down somewhere near them. I looked at the way she acts. Well, i've tried to figured out what's wrong with her. She got her bag, to covered up something. Something. I kept on looking at her. Suddenly, i saw it. She's pregnant. I'm so shocked about it.I'm speechless. My mum had fun chatting with her mum while I, feeling upset to see her condition like that... Her mum, i saw misery in her eyes. Those tired eyes. Those eye bags that she had... Overall, her tiring face that makes me sympathy with her..

This hurts me. Firstly, where the hell is your parents gonna face their families and also their friends? They're gonna be damn embarassed! DAMN! Secondly, are you gonna face the fact that you're actually pregnant around my age, which is SEVENTEEN and have to get MARRIED SOON? OHMYGOD!

I've got no words anymore for you. I wish you all the best in life..


OMG girl. :'(

perfection in my pride

, (30th June) Today was supposedly go to Orchard ; Paragon to give my uncle something. But, it was cancelled. So, me and my mum we went to Ikea and Giant instead. Bought some stuffs there. And went back home. In the bus, kept dreaming of ICECREAM! And yeah, asked mum to wait at the bustop that we've just alighted and i went to buy ICECREAM. Guess who i saw?


Its FARKHAN.
He was sitting down with a few of his friends. I saw him from far and yet i avoid him. But, i was in a rush. Can't keep my mum waiting at the bustop, right? It happened, so fast...
We saw each other, He tried to call me.. After all that, i went home. Feeling guilty. Soon after i've reached home, he texted me. saying' looks like you're angry at me for some reasons.' and i told him,' what? me getting mad at you for what?.' and then, the msging continues. He told me that, usually i'll smile at him or even say HI to him but i did not do that.. I think he knows why i did that. so if he did, is good for him... So, i'm happy today. at least he's the first one to text me, right? haha. and also happy to get to see him.. I think there's something that he hides from me. But, only God knows whats in his mind, right?


So babe, (RINI), i've been in your situation before. All that i can say to you is that ; ' life must go on with or without the ones that you loved.' Its time to let them go. I know that you can't forget him, or tried to forget or hate him and it's kindda hard. I wished you all the best. Live life happy happy. We're still young, teenage, why must all teens ruined their teens life? So, calling out to all teens, LIVE LIFE HAPPY HAPPY. DO good things, avoid the bad ones. OK? haha. :D

SO, chatting with my new friend. haha. Although we've just know each other, we chat like we've known each other like for years! haha.
well, what to do, i'm just too FRIENDLY! haha..

Faizal, sleep sleep. ahah, I know that FB is your dear. haha.. well, nice gaduh-ing with you just now. hhaha :D



Now, waiting for dad to come back home. so late now. HAISH! This is killing me. Luckily, i've slept in the evening. HAH! so now, i'm a OWL! WOOHOO!.

Talking crap with Izat ( commenting on my status) haha. When we're bored, we all talk crap! And, i've found out that, i'm hyper today..

I don't know, whats happening to me. HAH! oh well, lets all not waste our teens life. Lets all move forward. :D


F, i like you still. <3