STRESS

I'm upside down. Feeling so upset,angry and disappointed. You know why? Because, you all CHANGE. You told me, not to change and to remember you always. I did as what you told. But, you the one who CHANGE. What happened?? I don't feel good. This is not the first time in fact it is the second time. I had enough of this. You want it this way, i'll give it. Thank you so much for this. I accept this with an open HEART.

STAY...........................................................

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything

I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why you were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, I was wrong

If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you.............


I'm stress now. About school work. About others. Crebo, thanks for yesterday.. I know that you were joking around ,

Crebo: After you get sick, you're bedridden. Then you die. When you die, I laugh like nobody's business. HAHAHA!!

Me: What a friend! But, if one day i die, would you laugh?

Crebo: I won't. I cried. :(

Me: * telling him the reasons *

Crebo: You can't die. If you die, you don't take me as your friend.


*** Thanks for wanting to accompanied me to the hospital. I appreciate it friend. Thanks for the advises... I'm going to be strong, It's just that I'm afraid it may get worse..

I don't want to lose my love ones. I really don't..


Alright, the pain is here. I got to go. Bye.

I put you infront of me so eveybody can see my LOVE..

A big THANK YOU to IZUAN again.. For sharing with me the LOVE.. You told me that you're going to show me more.. I'm waiting. HAHA.. * I PROMISE YOU.. HEHEEEE... I don't mind repeating it, Cause what you gave me, it's nice.. Seriously.. :D

A big THANK YOU to ATEN, my twin sister, again.. For being here with me, eventhough you're far away from me( which is at Pasir Ris ), I can feel you.. Thanks for the advises.. I love you, girl.

I won't forget about it..

I'm late for school today. This sucks. Mum wakes me up. My alarm clock wakes me up to. But BOTH fails... Finally, mum went into my room and WAKE ME UP LIKE HELL!!! But, i do things slow. Bath, getting ready for school..Just like the normal pace.. Because I know, my teacher won't scold me. As long as i do his work, he's HAPPY! Haha. Right? HAHA!!

WELCOME BACK MUHD TAUFIK HIDAYAT TEO! I LOVE YOUU!
You're back. My singing partner. Your presence today, cheers everyone up.. The atmosphere today in class, is a bit different. Not like the usual.. AWW! But, your unlucky today UH! First day of school and you LOST your wallet. HAHA!! DAMN. Relax ok? HEHE.....

So, reached school.. Act as nothing happened and went into class.... and work BEGINS! Firstly, start off with NUKE. Well, I'm the one who's late for school gets to finish it off than those who reached ealier!! HAHAH! BOOO! Get help from my best guy friends, Nawi and Umar. Terima kasih banyak ya! :D Aku sayang kalian berdua! HEHEE! And after NUKE, I continue with my MTV logo, which is on AfterEffects. Its AWESOMEE! Get some help.. And at the same time, crap with Phoebe and Joceyln. MY PARTNERS!!! Nice Butt! LOL!

** So busy today that i forget to text someone. LOL. SORRY.
Oh well, I've GOT PLANS TOMORROW!! YIPPEY!!! Kawan lama, I WANT TO MEET YOU TMR!


* Love is selfless. Not selfish. I put you infront of me so everybody can see my LOVE. This is my LOVE...

I'm happy, abit.

Thanks Izuan for the love..
Thanks once again..


He left. I cried.


Ok, thats it.........

I must forget about it.

Thanks Aten, for the encouragement and the advises...


It's ok..
I'm happy..
Yes, I am.. I'm trying..

Don't worry, i wont make myself drunk, ok??

I'm gonna be fine...








* the pain at my stomach is acting again since yesterday. I don't wish to go for operation,, mum, i don't want to. I'm afraid, i may not wake up.. Mum,, i don't want.. let it be... i'm crying mum.. i don't wannt.................. Mira, i seriously don't want to.... Mum, i don't wantt. i don't wantt.. I'm afraid ma......... :'( .....




I need to let it out, by crying out loud. Yes. And i've just done doing it.

The lost

I've just lost a great grandmother.. Can't help it, but to cry. Eventhough i just got to know her and found her, I felt as though me and her were so closed..

Everyone makes me cry...

I need someone, to hear me out. But....

I need you. But, why you've changed? People changed. Please, be like what we used to. I want to be a good friend to you. I know, you're reading this now. Where is your LOVE? Has it fade away? Haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......





* Tomorrow, I can't wait for this thing to happen. I'm not sure whether you girls are really going to DO THAT THING. I'm excited.




I love you, HONEY. You're always there for me. No matter what, you always cheer me up. I had fun with you. Thanks for all the crap we had. HAHAH!!






Once again, let us pray for my great grandmother.Rest in peace. I love you. :'(

How i felt about it.

I hate guys who treat girls like THIS : Giving high hopes on girls. Toying their feelings. AND LEFT THEM JUST LIKE THAT!

This is TOO MUCH! Firstly you went to A and in order to make A jealous, you go to B. After that, All you wanted was to get close to C. You just want C. Not A. Not B.
MAKKAUGILASIA! What's wrong with you? Haven't you had enough? This is STUPID man. This is all CRAP. Please, guys. Treat the one that you really like/love properly. Not, TOYING around her feelings just like that. Guess what, Girls can go crazy if you really DID that towards her. She get HURT. HEARTBROKEN. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, She will lose trust on other guys. I really don't wish to have that feeling, and also i don't wish to watch my girlfriends being hurt that way...

That is how i feel.




" Trust is the main thing in Relationships. "
Not forgetting ; Honesty,Loyalty and Understanding.

Te Amo , SB<3.

This is LOVE

Dear Fika, Stay strong. No matter what happened, live your life to the fullest. What's the used of having a heartpain around our age? We're still young.. Please, I don't wish to see my friends to be sad and being ill, just because of LOVE..
Please, be happy. I don't wish to hear you're in pain.. Because, i want all my friends to be happy just like i do. After me, being heartbroken, and now it's your turn. And i can't believe myself that i'm actually giving you advises. Well, that's what friends are for, right? Ok babe, No more being SAD OKAYH!!!!




LOVEY DOVEY! <3 <3 <3 <3

Unwell

I'm sick, again. This time, FEVER. This year Ramadan, I'm sick. I hate this feeling. Seriously. GOSH!! Cough here and there. Changes in my voice. This sucks. HAISH!!

* cannot tahan!

Unwell

I'm sick.. Since last week... Can't sleep yesterday night... Pain in the nose... Head spinning round... OHMAGAWD!... :( This is killing me..



:( Bad Day.

Sorry seems the hardest word.

I actually sat down and watched the news. And i cried. Cry, because of the people in Pakistan, who had no food to eat. No clean water to drink. And when the those rice grains dropped onto the floor, they picked it up with their own hands. Picked it one by one. I, was speechless. All the way, my tears drop non-stop, even now.. I can't help it, but to cry. Oh my, i never felt this way. I just feel so sad. Pity. How i wished i were there to help them..

I don't know what to say. Just cry.

Another piece of news that i would like to share. It is about the 3 years old kid, who was murdered by his own DAD. I was shocked,angry,sad. Everything mixed up. How could you kill your own son? What were you thinking of? OHMYGOD. That kid was just 3 years old, and there's lots of things that he do not know, do and see. How dare you killed him!

I don't know what to say. Just cry.



- Maybe sorry seems to be the hardest word. I'm swear, i'm sorry. Please don't hate me too.I can' stop thinking about it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Well, if you don't want to talk to me, than, i leave it to you. All i know is that, I'm swear, i'm sorry...


I need time.
Bye.

Hear Me Now

I left everything behind me
Searching for the strength I thought I
Had inside me
Left you behind
So lonely
Praying for the day that you would somehow find me

I was young
You were wrong
But I tried
I was strong
And the years that I have lost are all I see

All I can say
Is I am not afraid
Of the world that I have tried to push away
I fight everyday
But I am to blame
I am not innocent
But I am not afraid

I lost all faith
Inside me
Still I find myself without the will to
Free me from you
I'm a slave
Unhappy
Wanting oh so much for you to someday
See me

Tell me how
I want to
Say it loud
I need you
To be the one who catches all my dreams
Hear me now
All I can say
Is I am not afraid
Of the world that I have tried to push away
I fight everyday
But I am to blame
I am not innocent
But I am not afraid
Anymore


I'm tired of sleeping
Alone I've been grieving
The life that I gave up to feel alive
I want to feel alive

I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not afraid anymore

I want to feel alive, I want to feel alive
I want to feel, I need to feel
I want to feel alive

Hold on tight
Let's make this right
Take me, make me
Feel alive tonight





* I swear, I'm sorry. Please don't hate me. :(

Ignorance your New Bestfriend.

If I'm a bad person,
you don't like me
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle
I mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore

Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge
but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same,
yeah we're not the same
Oh we're not the same

yeah the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept
that the change is good
It's good
It's good

You treat me just like
another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

You treat me just like
another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

This is the best thing
that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that,
that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
well now I can fend for myself

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same,
yeah we're not the same
Oh we're not the same

yeah we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept
that the change is good
It's good
It's good

You treat me just like
another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

You treat me just like
another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

You treat me just like
another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

You treat me just like
another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Would you care to find me when i'm gone? What if one day, i didnt text you, i didn't even online, would you care to find me? Even if it takes a week,a month or a year?

He answered: I'll go to your school, ask your friends to find you.. never give up..

If still, never get to find?

He answered: Keep on finding..

He asked: What if F wants you back with an open heart? Will you give him that second chance?

I answered: I will say no. I lose hope on him.. He made me cried. Lots of times. How can i accept him back..

He said: Aren't second chance given..

I said: I don't want to see his face anymore eventhough there is a second chance or not, I won't take him back.


My conversation with SB <3.


It's kind of weird. Suddenly we talked about this.. Hmmm..

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of
questions,
She is wondering how long you will be
around
When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a
few seconds,
She is not at all fine
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying
When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention
When a GIRL sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once
When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it
When a GIRL says that she can't live
without you,
She has made up her mind that you are
her future
When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more
than that.



*I'm trying really hard not to cry over you because every tear is just one more reminder that I don't know how to let you go.


*It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.

*People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

*If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be.





I'm freaking bored. DUH. Hahaha..


Come, let's find a Boyfriend k. I want to find Joe Brooks, Singapore version. CAN?
HAHAHA


How i wish i have a boyfriend just like Joe Brooks? Haish...

But, I don't feel like having one now. I want to enjoy! Like what Diyy say to me.. Jom Diyy, we go out!


Hmm, If i always fail in dating guys, how about dating Girls? Butch? anyone? See i'm crazy after girls! HAHAH! LOL woman!


This woman has gone crazy..

Aku can go Gila you know.

Please LAH! STOP IT LAH! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! You're killing me slowly!!



After you go around, telling everyone that i'm your GIRLFRIEND, and now you're like CONTROLLING ME. To where i go, with who, what time i'll be back?

Get the fact, I'M NOT YOURS...............

Aku can go gila you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELAH.STOP IT.

I'm afraid

I'm afraid that one day, you'll be like him. I'm afraid that after you've given me all your words, and one day, you left me just like what F did. Will you do that? If you're going to do what i've mentioned earlier, i have no words to say.. Seriously..


Like I say, I won't turn back around.. I won't look for you.. But, you came back, looking for me? HAHA. Funny.



Well, i have to be STRONG! NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!! GIVE ME FIVE! LOL!

Gay-Lang

Yesterday was AWESOME! Went to GAY-LANG/Geylang to break fast there with my cousins. It's crowded, as per usual and It's SUNDAY! HAAHA!! Oh well, to all the TALL people, please, don't you push us, the short ones. Thanks. LOL!! Ok, just wait for Sayang Masreena to upload our pictures. PLEASE BE QUICK!! I'm waiting!
On the way back home, first thing on my mind is ICECREAM! Went to MCD.. McFlurry-ing and walking back home at the same time. HEEHEE..Got back home, nag. AS PER USUAL..
Wash up, doing things that i supposed to do, then its time for FB! HAAHA!


Is, you make me laugh like a mad girl yesterday night just because of THAT! HAHAA!!
*you know. I know. OK? hahaaa..

Thanks SB, for the concern. Well, i just have to ignored that person.. I can do it. Don't worry about it , ok? :D

Busu, chill ok. Don't be sad ok. Cheer UP BUSU!!!


Ok, i'm ill. I kept sneezing.. My head spins.. It's not a good ramadan this year. URGH! Sick during ramadan.. I HATE IT!!! URGH!



* Like i say, i'm not yours. Please, stop all the nonsense. All those things. I don't want to hear. You're just a friend of mine. Nothing more than that.. Please, stop it. Please!!!!!!!!!! AKU BOLEH GILA SIA GINI MACAM!



OK, NAK REST AH! PENAT! ZZZzzz

TIREDD but FUN

Today's fun. But tiring. Went to Marina. Walk around there.. Getting familiar with the place. I feel like fainting... Seriouslyy.. With someone's advise, i try to endure with it. Alhamdulillah, I can do it. :) Thanks.

Met new friends. But, i didnt get to see those 3 guys. SAD AH...














Ok, bye. Tired ah.

yeah yeah

This is what i did before break fast. The whole day, spending time on this.. It was halfway done, though.. Maybe, next week, i can finish this thing up. :D

Nights.



'Nothing is Impossible.'

Nice Crop Short Hair!

Nice title right?! Haahaa. Given by BOB, my friend which i worked with last year, at the Airport.. Ouh, I missed those days, working. Those times, working with my favourite Ah Lian, Li Ying , ' Hey Carrot, I Miss You! ' It is so much fun to be with her. I still remember those little conflicts. Those girls who were jealous of me, just beacuse of a few guys who were talking to me. Oh, I find it funny. Why must you two be jealous? Haaha. Well, it's kindda lame for you girls. LOL!!

I miss Emi Azhar. I miss Abang Magic. I miss Auntie, who always give me free food. She regard me as her granddaughter! YAY! I got a chinese grandma! Haaha. I miss my chinese big sister and my brother.. I really miss them so much.. I miss Saiful, my supposedly boyfriend now, but........( Long story ). I miss Kakak. I miss my sister, Adlina who works there.. I miss Iszad (25 mins in the Handicap Toilet).. I miss the FOOD there. YUMMYY!! I miss all of YOU OUT THERE!! I miss my malay grandmother.. AWW!! I MISS YOU PEOPLE SO MUCH! And to Philip, I miss you friend.. Thanks for all that you've done for me and also my partner.. Thanks, once again.


I'm soooooooooooooo HAPPY!!!!!!! YAY! Heehee.. I've got my position for the F1 which is the Grandstand Access Official! Isn't it AWESOME?! Tell me it is!! HAAHA!

Oh well, tomorrow i have to go to ITE Bishan, at around 11am. SO terrible. Have to attend a course. HAIZ! After that, went to the site and recce... I can't wait for it. I want to meet the 3 guys again. Wish to. Hopefully i get to. HEEHEE!!!!

Good Night loves.. <3

Thanks for the wish, F. :)

Only when you're lonely.

' Every word i say i mean it and the word is I Love You. <3 '
' Everytime i talk to you, you sound like you're angry. '
' Everyday i worried, because of this. '
' I make you sad once and i don't wanna repeat itself. I'm scared like i say before i wanna make you smile. '
' I just don't want to make you disappointed.'
' I wait for anything, even your love.'
' What I say I mean it all this while calling you___,_,........It's not too late. I'm telling you that I love you and I mean it... Your not the only person i treasure but someone that make me wait, the whole day just to text you everynight, like this.'

~ SB.


: F, random AGAIN! I saw him today.. Finally, i realised that he's change abit, the good way. Keep it up. I miss you, F..





: If im a bad person, you dont like me
i guess ill go, make my own way
its a circle
a mean cycle
i cant excite you anymore
wheres your gavel? your jury?
whats my offense this time?
youre not a judge but if youre gonna judge me
well sentence me to another life.

dont wanna hear your sad songs
i dont wanna feel your pain
when you swear its all my fault
cause you know were not the same
oh were not the same
the friends who stuck together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you cant accept that the change is good
its good

you treat me just like another stranger
well its nice to meet you sir
i guess ill go
i best be on my way out

ignorance is your new best friend

this is the best thing that couldve happened
any longer and i wouldnt have made it
its not a war no, its not a rapture
im just a person but you cant take it
the same tricks that once fooled me
they wont get you anywhere
im not the same kid from your memory
now i can fend for myself

dont wanna hear your sad songs
i dont wanna feel your pain
when you swear its all my fault
cause you know were not the same
oh were not the same
we used to stick together
we wrote our names in blood
but i guess you cant accept that the change is good
its good

you treat me just like another stranger
well its nice to meet you sir
i guess ill go
i best be on my way out

ignorance is your new best friend

you treat me just like another stranger
well its nice to meet you sir
i guess ill go
i best be on my way out



I've got nothing to say.

Just the way you are

' When you smile, the whole world stops and see you smile, cause you're amazing just the way you are....'

Dangerous.

'Sometimes the things you see with your own eyes isn't always the truth.'

'Some things, need a little faith to be seen.'

: I don't know whether that's for real or not. I've been asking myself, if that's real or the other way round. I wanted to asked you, but, i'm scared. Each time we talked, I usually remind myself to asked you. But, I decided to hold it back. Maybe, that thing is true about you. And maybe it's not too. But, I've got a feeling. And that is, that thing is SO TRUE.. Oh, haiz...............



: You're being random nowadays, F. Yes you are.. How i wish we were together now, but too bad.. We can't... Oh, haiz..................


: What Diyy posted about yesterday was right. But Diyy, not ALL guys are like that. Those guys who behaves as to what you say, really needs a good lesson.. Be who you are, be truthful, honest, be a good gentleman. Why must you guys behaves like THAT?

, You still love your old flame and you came to me saying that you need me, and when i got to find out, that you're just playing around, Isn't it making we, the Girls, heartbreaks? Think carefully.


Cut the act. Be who you are. I've been searching for the truth all night long.. Thinking about something that have been bothering me.. It's not that important, though... Oh, haiz......


~ Nyawa ku pupus....

Malam Bulan di Pagar Bintang

Malam bulan dipagar bintang
Makin indah jika dipandang
Bagai gadis beri senyuman
Pada bujang idaman

Belai kasih ingin dimanja
Dengan cumbuan mesra
Untuk pelipur lara
Penawar dik asmara


Malam bulan dipagar bintang
Tambah seri cuaca malam
Murni sungguh ciptaan Tuhan
Bulan bintang lampu alam

Andai kata bintang menyepi
Bulan tidak berseri
Malam menjadi sunyi
Tidak berseri lagi
















I'm weird. Seriously.

Pupus

It's 4:10am now. And i'm awake now..
I received a text message from F. He's being random. Usually, If he reply late or never reply at all, he won't apologised to me or text me back. But, yesterday, he did apologised to me, and randomly asked how am i after he left. I was shocked yet glad that he still remembers me. But, I'm not putting any hopes on him. So, we'll see how it goes then.


OPPA! Chatting with Is, is so much fun!! Is, if there's something that bothers you or if you need anything, you know where to find me. HEEHE! (so drama) LOL!! OPPA! Finally Is know what OPPA means. And he called me, this one name, but i forgot what it is LAH. Hmm, nevermind. OPPA <3 <3 !!



" You can't buy someone's heart with money " excluding transplant OK!! dumb.



~ Di depanku, engkau berbuat baik. Tetapi, di belakangku, engkau berbuat jahat. Ramai yang terpikat atas kecantikkan dirimu. Ramai yang terpikat oleh sikapmu yang bersopan santun. Tetapi, disebaliknya engkau seorang manusia yang terkutuk di dunia. Aku bukannya ingin berpihak ke atas sesiapa pun, engkau dan dia adalah temanku. Tetapi, kelakuaan mu itu sudah keterlaluan, wahai temanku. Harap kau sedar, apa yang kau telah lakukan. Wajah mu yang cantik itu tidak secantik mana perangaimu. Harap maklum. Assalamualaikum, wahai teman ku....



OPPA! OPPA! OPPA! <3

Lyin' next to you
Wishing I could disappear...aay
Let you fall asleep
And vanish out into thin air..aay

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's the avalanche that looms above our heads.
And we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect
Tryin' not to let you down...ooww
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
while the floors underneath our feet are crumbling
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

I still keep your photographs
I remember how we used to laugh
I can keep on losin' sleep
If you're okay with being torn in half.

It's the elephant in the room
And we pretend that we don't see it.
It's an avalanche that looms above our heads
But we don't believe it.

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...oww
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning
And let the rain come in.
Stop pretending that it's not ending
And let the end begin.

Oh yeah...

Tryin' to be perfect, tryin' not to let you down...yeah
Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now...yeah
While the floors underneath our feet are crumblin'
The walls we built together tumblin'
I still stand here holdin' up the roof
Cause it's easier than telling the truth.

It's easier than telling the truth...


KRIS ALLEN - TRUTH

HELLo

To Taufik and Fadz, I'm not drunk yesterday. Seriously...

I'm tired. I need to sleep. Alright?
I've got nothing to say much here.

ahfk gpojgvhvn

i'm bored.
bye.
k.
tc.
gdnight.

LOL!

I can't grow any TALLER

Went to Woodlands,Causeway point. Bought my heels for this year Raya. It's nice. My nicest Heels ever! HAHA! I never had any heels before, because i'm not used to wearing it. I prefer sneakers. I wonder, Can we wear sneakers during Raya? HAHA! Imagine, you wearing a Baju Kurung or Kebaya(GIRLS), and you wear sneakers.. OMG! It's gonna be "AWESOME"! HAHA! Obviously not right.. FUNNY!!

Before break fast, I saw Fadzli and his brother. His brother spot me out! HAHA!! Talked to Fadz for awhile and then break fast. HAPPY! Then walked around and around and around till i'm tired and head back home...




* We're together, everyday. We joke around with each other. We treat each other well.... Please stay this way. I don't want to lose someone again...And i hate the feeling of losing someone... I love you too... Please stay, will you???




" Don't waste your time on me , You already the voice inside my head."

Seriously

I'm tired seriously. Wah, yesterday went to GAY-LANG(Geylang). OMG! Lots of people, and it's damn crowded. Hate it... People there, kindda scary. MatReps and MinahReps were everywhere, all around the corner.. My brother, swears that he don't want to go there again.. Well, as long as those people mentioned above those not disturb us, we better mind our own business. Better.. Got home, at last.. Welcome back to heaven. LOL!

~ TIRED FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS, OK. ~

Text SB ,, till 3am plus before he SLEEPS! And guess what, this is my first time, not sleeping, waiting for Sahur. SB wakes up and text me again. HAHA. Funny though. He thinks that i'm angry at him whereas i'm not. HAHA!! Then we continued texting till I fall asleep, and I think he too..

* We fight and lastly we solve it in a weird way. It's kindda weird. Seriously.. Suddenly, we're back together again.. Hopefully this thing won't happened again. I swear. I'm sorry..




Hey eminem, i love you! HEEHEE!!

Tired

TIRED. TIRED. TIRED. TIRED.






I got nothing to say. Let me think, ok?
HEEHEE!

I love you

I miss The 4N2 Malay girls so much! I just finished chatting with my bestie, which is Farrah!! Oh Girls, Study hard for your O level's. I'll pray for all of you.. Miss you all much!!! Insyallah, one day i'll meet you girls up. I'm busy right now, to catch up some of my assignments deadline... I love you.


I swear, it won't happened again. We both cried. Cried over something. As i was typing out the some text to send it to him, tears drop one by one. Thinking what we've shared and also the things we used to say to each other. Love, I'm sorry for not telling you the truth, I'm just scared to say it. But now, it's all over. We're back to normal now... Smile alright? :D :D

I'm surprised to what you told me. As if it weren't true... Thanks for telling me. I appreciate it lots... Those three words.................. :D





Today's school is way fun! Laugh out loud, with Arthur and Ben. Our secrets uh! HAHA! They're awesome. Getting to spent time with them, early in the morning, as i'm EARLY for class. LOL! You guys are just so AWESOME! Tomorrow, we joke again alright?

Laugh till there's no tomorrow... I had alot of fun today.
Oh yah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHOEBE! My primary school friend till now, in the same school and class! HAHA!!! Smile always friend! I love you! <3 <3




Good night. Where are you? I'm sleepy already SEYH! haha..

Tell me the truth

Tell me the truth. Please do not lie, thank you. I hate liars, almost everyone hates it, right? First day of ramadan and this shit happen. OMG. I've tried to control the negatives that popped out of my mind. I am shocked! In a relationship? YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? CONGRATS AH! But, please, go to her. Not me. I'm not yours.. I'm so disappointed in you. Yes YOU! You should know who you are.. Please, tell me the truth.. Is it real or not? If it is, then, i should not have been disturbing someone's right.. But yet, I'm still thinking about it..

Almost everyone's the same. THE SAME! I hate you people!! I hate it... I hate it... I hate to be used... Once again, if its real, i wish you all the best.. Don't come and find me...


Enough of all this nonsense. Seriously. I hate it.

* I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE!


Praying at school and also at one of the mosque in Tampines, it is such a wonderful exprienced! I felt so calm than the usual... Before, i felt angry, all these negative thoughts about that, i went to pray and it works. I forgot about it. But soon as i reached home, i remembers it. DAMN!






Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?
How can i love you?
Tell me.





Thanks girls, for teaching me and also accompanying me to the mosque. I felt much more better there. It feels like, heaven. Seriously. Once again, thanks girls. Much love from me to you both. <3 <3






You, i need your explaination. I don't know if its true or not. I'm waiting for you explainations. If not, then this would be the very last. Serious. I'm not joking.

i'm fine

I'm fine, You don't have to worry........
ok? Smile love. Please? :D

<3 <3 <3










* i'm fine. serious.

Believe in Yourself

Oh well. I didn't go to school today. I'm tired and lazy. Sorry, for not joining you guys and girls out there. Haish. Tired, you know!! Sleep around 3am plus. Wakes up at 10am. Oh yeahh. Now, still in a sleepy mode...

Thanks SB<3 for accompanying me last night.. Its great to chat with you..Thanks for the concern about, the guy that i told you SB<3.. I can solve it myself, insyallah.. Don't worry, ok? :D

** People do need a second chance.. Believe in yourself, you can change to be a better one.. All we need is time. Time helps to heal this wound...


Mum told me lots of stuffs today. Its all about the past. The past stories that she had. The good and the bad ones. The unforgettable memories.. The one that makes my heart pain.. The ones that touches my heart and makes me cry..


* THE LATES...

To my late grandfather(my mum side) ; Allahyarham Abdul Aziz bin Sam, I know that you sacrificed for me alot. Thanks. I appreciate it when you once told my mum, ' Kalau aku panjang umur, anak kau ni (me) akan aku jaga. Akan aku besarkan dengan duit aku sendiri. Aku kasi dia makan dan juga pelajarannya. '

Terima kasih. Acha sangat menghargainya, walaupun Atuk pergi dulu, Acha tetap akan mengingati apa kata-kata Atuk yang telah Atuk ucapkan. Acha rindu Atuk...

To my late grandfather(my father side) ; Allahyarham Haji Mohkreh bin Hasbari, I miss you.
Nurul rindu Atuk. Walaupun, sudah beberapa bulan yang lalu Atuk meninggalkan kami, Nurul masih rasa kehadiran Atuk.

I still remember the day that you passed away, i was in the same room with you. You were, saying something that makes me confusing. I just asked you, ' Yer tuk, nak apa? ' Then, you were closing your eyes, i thought you were sleeping. After i came back from bringing the kids to the swimming pool,, something happened. You're gone. Thats the worst. I changed the cloth for you. And as i changed it, my tears drip non stop. Eyes were damn red.. The next day, i cried alot.... I told myself not to, but i can't. I regret. For all this while, i've not been visiting you unlike the others... Now, what's gone can't come back.





* Their soul will be released during Ramadhan. I can't wait for Ramadhan. I'm trying to change myself. Insyallah..

Amin.

Celebrate ah

Celebrate somewhere. SHH.. haha! Fun though. The shouting, craziness and singing all the songs that i know. HAHA! My voice sucks today.. Mum get irritated by me, HAHA! Sorry ah! And my brother too! Nevermind, they're just jealous of my capability to sing, KAN? HAHA! Nah, just kidding.. Now, i have no voice left due to the celebration i had ealier. HEH! Oh well, this reminds me of the last year countdown after work at Marina. I really had fun and guess, what time i reached home?? Around 4am in the morning!! Isn't it wonderful? HEEEHE! Oh well, had a scolding from my mother. GOOD!! HAH! My father, he just opened up the gate and let me in. And then told me to have a bath and sleep! HEEHE! Oh well, i still remembered it eh!



Let's go out and sleep somewhere down the streets! Rock out the streets with Kinder Bueno! HAHA! Wani, thanks for the band name. I surely wanna use that name for my band, if i have one. LOL!



I don't know whats right and whats real anymore....




* someone told me something that makes me angry.
You're such a disgrace. How could you say that to them? How could you? How could you Think before you talk. I'm not YOURS! Jangan nak perasaan, ok? I belong to both my parents and my brother. I don't belong to anyonelse. I can love anyone, no one can stop me from doing that. But you? Why you must go around telling people about me? OMG! Such a dissapointment. I can't believe it. Luckily there's someone who told me, if not, i won't know about this. Thanks eh, I'm now starting to hate you. Thanks... I can't believe it... What a friend indeed.. Sungguh perasaan ya, anda... Now, SCRAM!
I'm not going to say a single word to you. You're making me scared now. I think i shall stop talking to you.



SB <3!! Where are you <3? Hmmm.......... I think i need to tell you something. HAHA!

Comeback home quick!! I'm waiting.

Happy Birthday!

Happy 45TH birthday SINGAPORE!!!

And Happy 18TH anniversary to my parents..

It's just the same Monday. Bored. I don't know whether i'm going out or not. This feeling sucks.. BOOOOOOOOO.. If i have no plans, then maybe i'll just stay at home and eat Icecream, much more better. HAHA! Oh, please, somebody save me! HAHA!!



Ok, bye. Nothing else to say. Bored. Icecream is calling me, better go now!! :D

STRESSSSSSSSSS LAH

Bingit. Frustrated. Sad. Sedih.

This brain can pop anytime!!! This is killing me!!

Want to know why? I'm stress. I need time on my own............................




What's going on.. i'm not sure..
Suddenly..
I have no idea..










` save your heart for someone that's worth dying for.

Again.

Hey there.

I'm sick again. Haish. High fever last night. Can' sleep, thinking about what i've done.. Was on the phone with my two best guy friends, Taufik and Fadzli. Hey you two, Thanks for entertaining me. But, i sleep halfway through. Sorry ya!


To Amir : thanks for introducing me to the Mayday Parade and also All Time Low songs. I'm now falling in love with all the songs. Once again, Thank you so much! :D


I guess, i better have a good rest now..


















Missing you already..

not again

You told that. Well, i'm a little sad now. Ok fine, I'm sad. Urgh. This is killing me. Can someone help to cheer me up? Upset. Disappointed. Seriously. SERIOUSLY!



~ I advise people not to cry, but yet i'm................. omg.



OMG.
OMG.
OMG.
OMG.


Why is this happening to me again? ONE WORD : FATE!




Isn't it wonderful? After F and now, ...... OMG. I'm speechless...


Friendship ends. Now, back to the old me. WELL DONE NATASSHA, WELCOME BACK TO SQUARE ONE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




FATE UHK? HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

I'm plain confuse AGAIN

* My HolePuncher ( 3DM Assignment )

* The training at ITE Bishan. ( I didn't get to take their pictures. )

* Singapore in Chinese



Today the day that i laughed alot! HEES! Today is the National day celebration at school and so, all the students have to participate in this event, which is to set up stalls or to do a mascot/costumes. It's a tiring and exciting day... We, the VFX both classes, had a wonderful time together. It's such a success. Alhamdulillah. Selling the items, were not that easy as we thought it would be. But, overall we enjoyed ourselves. Snap here, Snap there!! Oh well, at one point of time, i received a text from CREBO. Well, earlier this week, he told me that he would be coming to school this friday, which is today, to help out his friends. And i saw him. He saw me. And, we called each other NAMES that we've created. HAHA! Shh, it's a secret DAH! HAHA!!
We wave our hands, saying goodbye and i left with my kaki gereks. Some went back home, some went to meet their BF's. I went home with Aten. Took the same bus with her, well today is not in a hurry so i waste some time to get back home. Had a great time with my mother, we talked alot. HAHA!
At the same time, texting with SS! He changed his name, so i have a new name for him which is SM! HAHA! But, at one point, i don't know if i've said the right thing. I just don't understand this one text that he send to me. HMM! I have to find out why... I don't know why..... I don't understand you, but oh well, let's see what you've got to say later...



I'm confused. I don't know why. You made me feel that way. I don't know why....
I felt,, i don't know............... I'm........ urgh... Haiz.. Ok, nevermind... Let it go..

Friends

I've made new friends today!! I went to ITE Bishan for the F1 training, and i've made friends with them. hehe!! At first, i got to a wrong class. This was way too funny. HAHA. I asked for directions to this 2 young guys, and they are the flirty type. In my heart, i was cursing them like hell! HAHA! Oh well, got to the right class and sat down at one table. Few minutes later, these 3 malay guys join me in. They're fun to be with. Haikal, Asy and also Syed. They're the best. They showed me around, telling me this and that. Asking me this and that. I love you guys! :D :D
I still remember the part where i'm heading to fika's house, and they asked me to join them. Me joining them and their friends. It was fun though. I wish to see you guys again!! I WANT TO! I'm waiting for this 21st August!
Head Bedok, in the train with Haikal and also Syed. HAHA! The first time that i used or went to the Circle Line, and they both congratulate me!! HAHA! Funny! But when it's time to leave them behind, i've got this sad feeling which i don't know why.. Maybe it's just a sad feeling.. Thanks guys, for today. Without you guys, maybe i'm going to be lonely. Serious. HEHE. Once again, thanks alot.. Hopefully, you guys know what position that you going to do. I hope, the same with me..


Went to Fika's house, baked and wrapped. And also, to draw something on the top of the packing. HAHA! It's a tiring day for me today. Sleep in the bus with Phoebe and Joycelyn....

SS! It's ok. Maybe i'm too tired, that's why.........

Ok, let's all sleep. I'm tired.

Haikal, Asy and Syed ; thanks once again. :D

Trust

Trust.

* This came to my mind suddenly. I didn't know why. I lose trust. Where's the trust? Do you trust me? Can i trust you? WHERE? I'm confused. I don't trust some guys, frankly speaking.. I'm telling you the truth. I dont trust them because they don't kept promises, kept forgetting the times. But, certainly, this does not goes to all guys out there, not for you SS. I'm sorry if i bring out this topic last night. And made you wide awake, thinking about this TRUST. I'm sorry once again. Felt guilty. But as what you told me, move on. And now, i'm moving on now. I won't look back.

Today school, awesome. Had my 3DM DONE! FINALLY!! I'm still alive. HEEHEE! OH well, felt great now. No more stressing. Well, it's easy to do it, all we need is to be patience. That's all. HEEEHE! After school, went to GIANT at Tampines with the kaki gereks..... Went to buy the stuffs for this Friday event. Oh well! Tomorrow, i won't be going to school but instead i'm going to the F1 training which is at ITE Bishan. WOAH! I'm all alone. Oh well, it's okay. I'll try to make friends with them, my team, HEHEH! :D

SS!! IMY!! HEHEHEH!

I'm just confuse

I'm plain confuse now. Seriously... I don't know why. It's a strange feeling. I need to sort out with them. But i scared that i might break their hearts.. OMG! This is killing me. I'm not on either one of their sides. NO. I'm just the plain me. I don't like to be treated as though i'm your pet, to be tag along wherever you go. I'm just me. I want to me be.


well, i have no idea what to post on today. HAISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


oh yah, chatting with Is yesterday was awesome! we chat till around 1am plus.. It's hilarious as i was laughing alone in front of my computer, in my room. HEHE!!! But today, i don't know if he might online. HMM... Well now, texting SS and also on the phone Izat. HEHE! Happy birthday to youuu!! Even though you always bully me, i love you friend. HEHEH!!!! :D

Monday Hyper

* The three of us..
.MONDAY.
Maybe all of you may think that Monday would be a boring day, a day that you hate the most. But for me, today is the most wonderful day. The day that i actually sat down and get my work done for today lessons. Its Mr Kean's lessons(MTR) and i'm late for class not more than 3 minutes, OK Mr Kean. HAHAHAHA!!! Punishment were given, that is so clean up the lab and we, the latecomers "enjoyed" cleaning it.. It's fun though..

Break time, went to Ite Simei,me and Fika had to accompany Eyfa.. HAHA! Text SS, who knows i met him.. HEHE. But, he did not replied me. Oh well, my thoughts were, maybe he's busy with his stuffs or something.. HEHE!! Oh well, got back to school and get crazy with Phoebe and Joycelyn... You both are the best! hehe!!

Went to Tamp, to buy something. And get home. On the way home, SS texts me. In a sudden, i don't know why, but i feel sad. I just got carried away by something else. Thanks SS for being there.. I really do apprieciate it... <3 you SS. HEHE!!

Now chatting with Is Bueno and also Fadz.. I love you guys! HEHE!














* there's no used of remembering the past. Move on and get a better one.

I am who I am.

Today's fun.. I went to Orchard with MAK AKU, to buy some Aunt stuffs AGAIN. And we do not buy lots of stuffs there, just window shopping. DUH. Went to see my Uncle, he's working at PARAGON. But, too bad, he's busy. At PARAGON, I enjoyed the music played and sang by this three musicians. I took a picture of them but i'm lazy to upload it, sorry neh! HEHE!! So, me and MAK AKU continue walking till we decided to go to Plaza Singapura. Took a bus there, it's raining though... Walked around,and around and around, till we both got damn tired! HAHA! Then, i planned to go to GIANT which is at Tampines... OFF WE BOTH WENT!! Walk here, Walk there... Got tired, went back home.
Ok this is a funny part. Took bus number 82, and went i reached my stop, that DRIVER BRAKE! And i nearly fall on to this one MALAY GUY! Do you know how MALU/EMBARASSED am I? WAH! The guy wanted to hold on to my left hand and luckily i get to grab on to the pole by my right hand. OMG! So embarassing!! HAHA!!! After that, he and me got down and I kept on laughing, HE too. HAHAH! I told my mum and she laugh too! HAHA!!

**** Everything's done and it can't be undone.. I have told myself that this time i won't make any mistkes. I promise to myself.. Insyallah, I can do it.